Will You Stand?

The other day my parents had to discipline my 10-year-old brother due to an incident in which he compromised his standards. As my mom was talking to him afterward, he began to cry telling her how hard it is for him to make stands with his friends. 

“I always have to say, ‘No I can’t do that’, or ‘I can’t watch that’ and then my friends make fun of me.” When my mom was telling me this she told of the hurt in his eyes, she said “You could see that he wasn’t just feeling bad for himself, he was really hurting” from things his so-called “Christian” friends had told him. 

While sharing this story and the advice she gave to my brother, my mom caused me to realize that even though he failed, my little brother has made stands in his life. Stands that have caused him to be made fun of, and for lack of a better word “persecuted”. 

Furthermore, I have come to realize that personal conviction and truly living for God wholeheartedly are things that modern-day Christians have a hard time doing.

The current situation

As I look around the church world today, I am disappointed and in some cases appalled. 

I see churches not judging sin in the congregation instead they encourage and welcome it. Transgender pastors and adulterous worship leaders are just two of the types of people who are being given prominent positions in the church. The church is a hospital for sick souls, they should be allowed in, preached to, and redeemed, but not invited behind the pulpit until their sin issue has been dealt with. 

Paul continually challenges the Church in Corinth to make a distinction between themselves and the culture of the city which was exceedingly wicked and immoral.

2 Corinthians 6:17

Therefore

“Come out from among them

And be separate, says the Lord.

Do not touch what is unclean,

And I will receive you.”

It is sad to see popular Christian role models on social media who don’t dress or act much differently from the world. Sure, they aren’t cursing or living openly immoral lives, and yes they have great things to say about the Bible and can offer good advice. But they aren’t Christian “trendsetters”, they wear a slightly more modest version of what the world wears, they still drink, and they still get tattoos. 

They don’t give us much of a standard to live by. They have easy Christianity. You can say good things about God and even go to church every week and do all the things the world does while calling yourself a Christian, but that’s not what Christianity is. 

We are called to be set apart (1 Peter 2:9), to be in but not of this world (John 17:14-15) to take up our cross and follow Jesus (Mattew 6:24), and to be crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20), none of these things are easy. Many young church girls today would rather be able to wear bikinis and snuggle with their boyfriends than live a pure life and dress with dignity. 

Why? Because it’s more fun to do what feels good, self-control is hard, and the Bible doesn’t say “Thou shalt not wear crop tops.”

So, what are we to do? How do we live the way God has called us to and truly be set apart?

What does the Bible say?

If you grew up in a Christian home, with parents who taught you right from wrong, then you have a basic understanding of how you should and shouldn’t live. If you weren’t raised in the church but are now a Christian and a part of a church body, where the Pastor preaches the plain Gospel then you too should have this knowledge. God has called us to be set apart from the world, He doesn’t sugarcoat the fact that being different from the world is hard, in John 15 Jesus says, 

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Hate is a strong word, yet that is what our Lord used to describe how the world sees those who are “not its own”. Let’s be honest, no one wants to be hated. We all have an inherent desire to be loved and accepted. People are willing to go to great lengths to be accepted by others, but what about God? What are you willing to do for Him?

John 14:15

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.

James 4:17

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

What if serving God or standing up for what is right will cause your friends to laugh at you or kick you out of their friend group?

What if it means you have to eat lunch alone all school year?

What if it means not being able to join the club you wanted to be in?

What if it means your family will have nothing to do with you?

What if it means death?

These are things that all true Christians who aren’t afraid to stand with Jesus have to face. For some, it’s the little things, like going through school without any close friends. For others, it’s more serious, like being disowned by their family. Some become martyrs, standing with God until their last breath. 

While I hope that none of you will ever have to die for your faith, would you be willing to if that’s what it came to? Many would say “I would die for Christ,” but when it comes to making stands with friends, they can’t find the courage. 

The truth is, if we don’t stand for Jesus even on the “little things” in this life, He won’t stand for us on judgment day.

Matthew 10:33

But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.

As Christians, our standards and convictions should come from the Bible. God’s Word clearly outlines the consequences of sin, and He tells us exactly what He considers sin, and what will keep us out of Heaven.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

Even though an issue may not be clearly addressed in the Bible we can still use common sense and wisdom to discern how God wants us to approach it. For example, modesty (full article coming soon!), which is often debated in Christian circles, isn’t directly addressed in scripture. However, some verses provide guidance.

1 Timothy 2:9

And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

In the first verse, we are told that women should dress in “decent and appropriate clothing” not drawing unnecessary attention by their hair. Paul is not saying certain hairstyles are wrong. He is speaking to the culture of that time where having one’s hair done a certain way or donning certain clothing was a way of elevating oneself instead of God. This means, for example, the focus of a church service would be shifted from God to the elaborately dressed women. 

In 1 Corinthians Paul is speaking about sexual immorality and tells us that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. The way we choose to dress communicates something. By dressing according to the world’s standards are you representing the Holy Spirit? If you are constantly looking for ways to “show more skin” or attract attention then it’s time to question whether your body and spirit actually belong to God.

Application

Knowing what personal convictions are and where we should derive them from means nothing if we don’t live them out in our daily lives. The hard truth is that making stands is not always easy, and many times it will cost us. But, as we have already established Jesus warned us of how the world would respond to us (John 15:18-19) which won’t always be an enthusiastic applause. This makes it hard for many Christians to want to stand for righteousness. When you know that it may cause some pushback it can lessen your desire to do it. 

The truth is, however, that no amount of “persecution” or pushback can amount to the price Jesus paid for our salvation. Likewise, no matter what you have to go through on this earth, it will all be worth it when you stand at the feet of Jesus. The gain outweighs the cost on an exponential level when we have an eternal mindset. 

Consider this scenario, you are eating with your friends during lunch break at school and one of the girls drops an “F-bomb”. What do you do? 

Do you remain silent, brush it off, and act like you didn’t hear it? Or speak up, “Woah, watch your language!”. 

As hard as it may seem, once you do it, you will realize it wasn't as difficult as you anticipated. The response you get will vary, some people will pretend they didn’t hear you, others will apologize, and some will ask why it’s wrong, claiming, “Everyone does it”. If they challenge you about your request, it is a perfect opportunity for you to insert the Gospel, or at least let them know you are a Christian. 

You can say something like, “I am a Christian, and I would just appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk like that around me.” If you used to cuss and use foul language but have recently given your life to Christ, tell them! 

“I became a Christian and I don’t talk like that anymore, Jesus has saved me and now I am living for Him. Using foul language is something I know He wouldn’t want me to do, and I don’t want to hear it either.”

You don’t have to be all up in people’s faces, just provide a calm response and explanation. If they choose to stop being your friend, that’s on them, but it has been my experience that people will come to respect you more when they see you have a backbone and aren’t afraid to stand for what you believe, and they will probably be more careful next time they are going to let cuss words fly. 

Here is another situation that sadly, most of us will be faced with at some point in life. You are hanging out with friends from church, maybe even fellowshipping after service and a friend wants to tell you a secret, you think it’s something that has to do with the surprise party y’all are planning for your other friend. Instead, she whispers,

“I’m sneaking out with Derek on Friday night, we’re going to Main Event!”. Not what you expected. You know this is wrong, you don’t know how she is planning on sneaking out, and you are so confused because she is supposed to be a Christian and Derek is an unsaved guy from her school. 

This is a little bit more difficult, what would you say? Would you be excited for her and tell you you will help her sneak out, would you promise not to tell anyone, and ask all the details? Or do you confront her, “What? You aren’t even allowed to date, and Derek isn’t a Christian. This is a really bad idea.” 

Most likely, your friend won’t be happy to hear this, she might start to give a list of reasons why it's okay, or tell you "It’s none of your business really, I just thought you would be happy for me". Unless you can convince her to cancel the date and talk to her parents about it, you have to decide what you are going to do. You can remain quiet and watch your friend’s life self-destruct, or you can go to your parents and explain the situation to them, asking for their counsel. They might decide to talk to your friend's parents on their own, or they might want you to instead. This may mean that your friendship will end, but what is more important to you; having an unsaved friend or someone whom you can serve God with?

Making stands while dating is something that most people find hard to do, especially since a majority of the church world barely differs from the secular world in this arena. There are all kinds of things that you will need to have boundaries in. However, as a Christian, you should have one important non-negotiable. God created marriage and it is a beautiful thing when “the two become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) but sexual intimacy outside of marriage is the devil’s way of taking a wonderful thing God has created and defiling it.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

Ephesians 5:5

For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Hebrews 13:4

Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

When you enter into courtship you need to make your boundaries in this area crystal clear, and if the guy you are dating doesn’t agree, drop him like a hot rock. Once you have established that you are waiting to have sex until marriage, the way God designed it, then you need to make some other boundaries. What will prevent you from falling into sin in your relationship? If it means not riding in the car alone, not calling each other past a certain time, or not hanging out late into the night so be it.

You have to make up your mind about what you will and will not do on your own but there are a few general things that I would suggest. (Disclaimer these aren’t all-inclusive, separate blog post coming soon!)

1. Don’t drive together alone. It’s easy to sin when no one is around to witness it. Many girls have regrets about things that happened while alone in the car with a guy. One thing can lead to another very quickly, so why even give the opportunity for something bad to transpire?

2. Leave room for Jesus, in everything. Yes, in your relationship Jesus should be the center, but this also applies physically. The hormones released when you like a guy and he touches you in any way are off the charts. It makes you lose a lot of common sense. 

3. When you are first getting to know each other don’t date alone. The idea of chaperons has been lost in this day and age but it would save a lot of people much heartache if they would have chaperons or go on group dates in the early stages of the relationship. Having someone who is there to keep you accountable does more than you know. 

2 Timothy 2:22

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Boldness

These scenarios are not all-encompassing, we are constantly faced with opportunities to stand up and speak up for righteousness. God has given us the ability to do this through the Holy Spirit. In the book of Acts on the day of Pentecost when the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit, Peter stood up and preached boldly and 3,000 people were saved. That is the type of boldness the Holy Spirit gives, we know that Peter was somewhat outspoken, but this was the first recorded time that He used that gift for God. 

Standing for righteousness doesn’t always mean getting up on a table at school to preach. Many times it’s a simple choice that others may not see, a decision to do what’s right no matter the consequences. 

It can be a small choice, like deciding what to wear, or a larger choice, like speaking out against unrighteousness. 

Now it’s up to you, are you going to start making stands or just stay quiet? If you have let things slide in the past it’s not too late to start forming convictions. 

Most importantly, pray. Ask God to guide you and the Holy Spirit to give you boldness and the words you need. 

So go and stand for righteousness when God is for you no one can be against you.