Why Modesty?

People in the church world have many different opinions about modesty. Mainly because there is not a clear standard in the Bible for what dressing modestly practically entails. Some so-called “Christian” groups have taken what the Bible says and twisted it to fit how they want women to dress. Others have rather loose boundaries over what is and isn’t modest. This leaves us with quite a pickle. What does modesty really look like? How can we make sure we are dressing modestly?

Hopefully, this article will answer some of these questions. 

What is modesty?

Usually, the first thing anyone thinks of when they hear “modesty” or “modest” is clothing. Sometimes, the first picture that comes to mind when people talk about dressing modestly is a woman with a dress down to the ground who only wears turtlenecked shirts. The truth is modesty often gets a bad rap and many young girls think that to be modest you can’t be trendy or stylish. 

Modesty is defined as, “the quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities” and “propriety in dress, speech, or conduct”. According to this article, Biblical modesty is “to consider what our clothing and behavior represent”. 

Basing our approach to modesty biblically gives us a different perspective than we may have previously thought. We as Christians are supposed to represent Jesus through our lives. This includes how we talk, how we act, and how we dress. God didn’t call us to be like the world, we are supposed to be different because Jesus was different (John 17:14-15). When Jesus walked the earth He taught things that went against the status quo of that day and age. We are not supposed to try to fit the world’s mold, but the mold that Jesus created. 

So why do we need to dress modestly and why do we need to wear clothes at all? The original purpose of clothes was to cover up. In Genesis 3, we read of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, when they sinned and ate the fruit they immediately felt ashamed of their nakedness (Genesis 3:7). Adam and Eve tried to cover up with fig leaves, later God made them “proper clothes” by killing an animal and making garments out of its skin (Genesis 3:21). So, clothes were invented to cover our sin, they covered our shame. This whole story carries a lot of symbolism (which we won’t get into now). 

Now that we’ve established a reason for clothes, why do we need to dress modestly? Dressing modestly is about covering up what shouldn’t be seen. When you choose to wear immodest clothing by showing more skin or exposing yourself, you are not only attracting the wrong kind of attention, you are projecting a certain message.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

According to this verse, your body is not yours! When you become a Christian your body comes under subjection to God. Choosing to dress immodestly by wearing low-cut shirts or pants that are too tight because you want to bring attention to your boobs or butt is not glorifying God in your body. It also attracts attention from the wrong kind of people. We must remember that we are sexual creatures and if you want to attract “predators” then wearing provocative clothing is an easy way to do so. 

A gentle and quiet spirit

You may have heard the saying (it’s kind of cheesy) that “modest is hottest”. Even though it sounds strange, it’s true. If you want to portray yourself as a woman of dignity and eventually attract a man of God then your dress should reflect that. This doesn’t mean that you can’t dress trendily, but it does mean that crop tops, mini skirts, and push-up bras need to go. 

The message you send when you choose to dress immodestly is that you want attention, and it shows that you are willing to do anything to get that attention. Maybe that wasn’t exactly what you were thinking when you decided to put on something less than appropriate but that is what your appearance screams. 

A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t stoop to the level of the provocative dress of the world is much more attractive than girls who try to fit in with the current trends. This is the type of beauty that is not just external,

1 Peter 3:3-4

It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from inside you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear. It is worth very much to God.

Modesty starts from within, there’s an old song that says, “Jesus on the inside, working on the outside, oh what a change in my life!”. When Jesus is on the throne of your heart and you are living to please him, it will be reflected in how you dress. 

Many complain that guys are being perverted by looking at them inappropriately, claiming that they should be able to dress how they want and that the guys should have self-control. However, that’s the wrong mindset. The guys you encounter in church are your brothers in Christ when you choose to wear promiscuous clothing you are asking for their attention and in a way being “devil’s advocate”. If they are saved and trying to live right when you come walking in with your boobs hanging out you are tempting them to fall into sin. (There is a balance to this, of course, there are some guys who aren’t trying to serve God and could discipline their eyes better. But there is no excuse for your actions that would arouse them.)

And the guys at your school, if not Christians, will most certainly look at you differently if you dress immodestly, you will attract the players and perverts because they will see that you don’t have any dignity. The attention that they give you will only be temporary though, they don’t truly care about you, they simply want to get in bed with you. That’s the hard truth, and when you dress to please people like that, you will be left feeling empty and place yourself in some very bad situations. 

The fact of the matter is you are the one in control of how people are going to perceive you. If you choose to dress modestly and cultivate a heart that wants to please God others will notice and the weirdos will stay away from you, modesty is admirable and intimidating. 

A man who wants to please God will be attracted to a woman who dresses with dignity, and he will appreciate you for you and not only your outward appearance. 

Check your heart

Now that you have a better understanding of what modesty truly is, it’s time to search your heart. What do you notice about your mindset when it comes to the way you dress?

Here are some questions to ask yourself…

• What do I think the reason for clothes is? How does that opinion change when I realize that clothes were created to cover our sins and shame?

• Am I treating my body as a temple for God? Does the way I dress represent Jesus?

• What do I want others to see when they look at my life? Do they see Jesus in me or do I look like the rest of the world?

• Am I constantly frustrated by the way others look at me? How much of my wardrobe attracts the wrong kind of attention?

• Am I seeking attention from guys? Or am I trying to fit in with a group of girls who tend to dress immodestly?

I hope that you can properly approach the topic of modesty now that you have more understanding of the reason we need to be modest in the first place. It may not always be easy, but no one ever said living for Jesus would be! What is most important is to keep the right heart. 

In the next article, we will take a practical look at how to dress modestly. Like I said, the Bible doesn’t give us a list detailing how exactly we must dress, but when we have the correct mindset we won’t have the desire to wear provocative clothing. Learning to choose the more modest option takes time and I hope to help set you on the right track!