Walking Alone: Overcoming Insecurity

“Why do girls always go to the bathroom together?”.

I stood, caught a little off-guard by my cousin’s random question in the middle of our vacation, but eager to answer, and amused that boys do notice that sort of thing. 

“Because they don’t want to walk alone,” I replied somewhat lamely, then expounded, “They don’t like walking by themselves, they would rather hide in a group. When you walk by yourself everyone can see you, but in a group, you can ‘blend in.’”

The answer satisfied my 13-year-old cousin but it got me thinking about a pressing problem that most, if not all teen girls deal with today- insecurity. 

Body Image

Today’s world is one of comparison, and one of the first things that we as girls begin to compare is body image. Whether it be our hair, our face, or our body shape we are quick to compare ourselves to others, and if we don’t “measure up” we begin to feel insecure. 

The thing is we are all created uniquely (Psalm 139:13-14) and in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). The Bible also tells us where true beauty comes from, it’s not from our outward appearance, it comes from within our hearts (1 Peter 3:3-4). God handcrafted you and loves you just the way you are and if He loves you as you are, why don’t you love you as you are? The answer is that the devil is always seeking to ruin what God has made perfect. The enemy likes to make us feel like we “aren’t”. 

You aren’t pretty. You aren’t like her. You aren’t good enough.

These are lies he fills our minds with when we begin to focus on others and their looks. As a result, we begin to do everything we can to “be like them”. Maybe it’s wearing boatloads of makeup to cover up acne. Maybe it means starving yourself to try to fit into a suction dress. Maybe it means dying your hair to fit in with the other girls. 

Whatever we may do to change our appearance, it doesn’t really work. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other people you will never be enough. The world is good at telling us what we are doing wrong. Beyond that, you can’t be happy when you are trying to be someone else, God created you to be you and He loves you, imperfections and all. 

Personality

‘She’s so outgoing and fun, I wish I was like her’. Ever thought something like that? Most of us have. We’ve all done the, “quickly retract our statement routine” because a friend doesn’t agree with our opinions. Or started talking differently than we usually do around a certain friend group to fit in. 

But why? Why do we feel the need to change our personality just to please others? Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,...”. We are God’s handiwork, He crafted our personalities and created each of us uniquely. You have a different sense of humor than anyone else. Some things will touch you in a way that is different from the rest of the world. You were made with the different likes and dislikes that you have. You are different because that’s how God made you. He didn’t make us all the same, we all bring something separate to the table to make up the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:18). 

Why not just be you? Instead of shying away from sharing your opinion among friends, or holding back a giggle at something silly, just let it out! If your friends don’t agree or don’t get the joke it doesn’t matter, God gets it, He gets you. 

Social Media

Social media is a leading factor in insecurity among young girls today. We are given a front-row seat to everyone’s “perfect” lives. However, the reality is that no one posts the breakups, or failures they experience, so all we see is their good times and when our good times don’t match theirs we can begin to feel insecure about our entire lives. 

We can even become embarrassed about our lives because we don’t have the same luxuries others do. You don’t have a nice enough car. You can’t afford designer clothes. Your boyfriend isn’t hot enough, or you don’t have one at all. 

So? Who cares? Why would you live the wonderful life God has blessed you with always concerned about what other people think of it? There are very few people who have opinions about your life that are worth listening to. Your parents or mentors, maybe a close friend, and God. As long as they agree with the way you’re living, it does not matter what everyone else says or thinks. 

God gave you the life you have and when we are dissatisfied with the life He has given how do you think He feels? He placed you in the family and situations that you are in for a reason, even “for such a time as this”. It may not be like so-and-so’s social media post, but it’s the life God gave you, so choose to live it to the fullest and enjoy it! That’s what God wants, and ultimately, He is the only one you should worry about. 

What God thinks

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” God knew you before you were born, He made you wonderfully (Psalms 139:14), and He has an incredible plan for your future (Jeremiah 29:11). This world is constantly bombarding us with the message that we are not enough, but God says otherwise, He calls us His children (1 John 3:1). 

So walk in confidence, don’t be ashamed or embarrassed of who you are, you were made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). You don’t need to hide in a group of girls everywhere you go, you can walk to the bathroom by yourself.