"I'm too old for that!"

The older I get, the more I catch myself longing for the “blissful” and “carefree” days of my childhood. I know that may sound a bit melodramatic but the truth is, I have come to realize that my parents (and almost every other adult in my life) weren’t wrong when they told me to enjoy my youth because you can’t stay young forever. 

I wish I was…

Let me be clear, I don’t have many regrets about how I spent my childhood and teen years. However, there have been a few seasons that I yearned to be older. When I was in middle school, I wanted to wear makeup like the older girls. Around age 13 I dreamt of finally being allowed to date (I pictured myself dating by age 16). When I turned 16, I was not at all ready (or allowed) to be in a relationship, my hopes turned toward getting my driver’s license. 

I understand these longings are a normal part of life, almost every girl dreams of getting married, having kids, wearing make-up, and being “independent”. And there is nothing wrong with these desires, the problem starts when all we can think about is where we wish we were instead of enjoying where we are in the moment. 

I see so many young girls these days who are trying to be someone they are not. One way this is played out is when girls are trying to grow up too fast. Often, we would rather act like we are older than we are so that we can “fit in” instead of simply enjoying our youth and the age that we are at. 

There were times when I was younger that I would have rather been playing outside or playing with my dolls but I didn’t because the girls I was hanging out with were “too old for that”. 

It’s ok to be a kid

Balance is key. While many girls are trying to grow up too fast, this world is also seeing the opposite, people who are immature and not willing to take responsibility for their actions are becoming more common. This is not how we are called to live. It is important to mature as you age and learn to be a productive human being. The thing to remember is that having fun is good. God created us to enjoy life, and He wants us to have “life abundant” (John 10:10). 

My mom (as always) is the perfect example of this, never has she shied away from something with the excuse of “I’m too old for that”. Just last week we went to a trampoline park with some of the young people at our church and my parents both participated in all the activities, jumping, rock climbing, and the ropes course. All the other parents were chasing their kids or just sitting and watching. I love seeing my parents play like little kids. They play like little kids, but they don’t act like them. 

You can be a mature adult and still know how to have fun. My brother is 11- going on 30, he loves to talk to all the teenage guys at church and feel like he’s older than he is. I think it's so cute to watch but I also notice when a guy has lost his “child-like spirit”. Many young guys love my brother, he is so inquisitive and funny, I notice them really paying attention to him even though they are double his age. However, some of them are, for lack of a better word, jerks! They look at him with annoyance, ignore him, and only talk to the “older” boys. Of course, I understand that little kids can sometimes be annoying but are you to the point where you see them as beneath you or not worth your time? 

I recently was in another city for a wedding and 2 precious little girls took a shine to me, they were aged 8 and 12, way younger than any of my friends but I chose to be kind to them. Yes, at times I got annoyed, but I can’t help but think back to when I was that age, I longed for the older girls to notice me and to be my friend. When they did I was on cloud nine! On the other hand, those who were nasty or rude hurt my little 10 year-old-feelings. The reason I mention these girls is that while I was talking to a couple of girls my age the 12-year-old girl came up and said something, I was taken back to my childhood when the older girls sort of grimaced, rolled their eyes, and turned away. Thankfully, I’m not sure she noticed since I replied to what she had said with an enthusiastic tone and a smile. I’m not tooting my own horn, I’m showing you how easy it can be to make someone younger than you feel accepted, and not let yourself get too old for conversation with younger children.

I’m not saying we all need to find an eight-year-old to befriend. What I’m getting at is we decide what kind of life we want! Do you want to enjoy every season of your life or look back wishing you had more time in a specific age range? The fact is however young you may be, you will never get any younger. Enjoy it while you can!!

“Grown up indeed” 

With age comes responsibilities none of us can be fully prepared for. When I finally decided to enjoy my youth I began to dread getting older (in a way I still do). I cried when I turned 18, it seemed to me as though my childhood was lost. My wise mother consoled me by reminding me that, I don’t have to lose it if I don’t want to! I can choose to still enjoy life and have fun with my younger siblings. She also encouraged me that growing older brings some exciting things with it! We are made to get older, not stay the same age all our lives. 

While it’s important to keep a little youth in our lives we do need to recognize growing up is inevitable and we choose what type of adult we want to be. There are many people in our day and age who are struggling with the basic aspects of adulthood, let that not be said of us!!

I want to close with a quote from C.S Lewis in his famous “Chronicles of Narnia” series (Please read them if you haven’t already!! You can purchase the set here). It comes from the last book of the series, when the last king of Narnia meets High King Peter and his siblings who reigned in the “Golden Age” of Narnia he asks where Queen Susan is. The answer to his question has always saddened me...

“My sister Susan,” answered Peter shortly and gravely, “is no longer a friend of Narnia.”

“Yes,” said Eustace, “and whenever you’ve tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says ‘What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.’”

“Oh Susan!” said Jill. “She’s interested in nothing nowadays except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up.”

“Grown-up, indeed,” said the Lady Polly, “I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she’ll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that way. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one’s life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can.”

The last section of this passage is what struck me the first time I heard it as a younger girl. ‘What an awful way to be’, I thought, and the truth is, many of us have lived like this. In a way I almost did! I always wanted to be 16, in my mind, that was the age you could do everything! As 16 approached I realized there wasn’t much special about that age, and it would be of no use to try to stay 16 for any longer than a year. 

Maybe there is a certain age you can’t wait to get to, while it's normal to look forward to a certain birthday, remember not to get so caught up in wanting to be that age that you miss out on every age in between! And never forget you only have one year for each age, no more no less! Make the most of it, then move on to the next one.

Works Cited:

Lewis, C.S. The Last Battle. New York, Harper Collins Children’s Books, 1984.